Weddings, Showers, Bachelorettes and the Drain of the 20something Female's Wallet

SEVEN
That's the number of weddings that I will have attended by the end of the year. And that is with one being called off at the beginning of the year (thankfully before the shower).

Having just been to a beautiful shower, where women of all walks of life from grandmother to brunching buddy were happy to see this young woman getting ready to get married, I understand the evolution of what a modern wedding has become and I don't go into a rage like some singletons. But I just can't see it for myself. That's a whole other blog, like too neurotic to get married, or cold lower extremities.

Anyway. Back to weddings. With one wedding in Evansville, previously mentioned, one in Buffalo, one in Boston and another in Boulder, and a local wedding where I caved last minute and got the hotel room for a night even though we were an hour from the city, what is a girl to do?

Certainly make the most of that one darling dress you bought on sale last year from Lord and Taylor's. And only give WHAT you can give WHEN you can give it. Martha Stewart, or someone else with better manners than myself, says you have a year to give a gift and most guides that I've read on the topic say that you should only give what you can.

Now, I've had the frank discussion with one group of college friends, who, save for one girl who was planning a big NYC wedding, agreed that it is ridiculous to cover the cost of a plate when the bride and groom have chosen to have something over the top extravagant. That in my mind would equate to a really fancy dinner that I couldn't afford and would choose to forgo. All of my friends know that I work for a non-profit, so I don't think that they are expecting a huge check, but I do like to give them something.

Depending on my relationship with the couple and what I know of their finances, I either give a very personal gift or a check/gift card. If I go to a wedding west of Pennsylvania, I give a gift off of the registry because I've found that that is what people in the west do. If I travel, it is in the $100 range, if I don't travel, it is in the $250 range (for a couple). With all of these weddings in one year, I've had to sacrifice to give these gifts but most of the time, they are welcomed with such gratitude that it makes it worth the sacrifice (and my small bonus).

The whole splitting of the gift with the boyfriend depends on how well he knows the couple. If he doesn't at all, he shouldn't have to pitch in.